You probably heard the following: “People like people like themselves” and “People tend to do business with people they know, like and trust.”

Bonding is a “psychological” approach to easily connect and build a relationship with your prospects.

For instance, you can mirror the tone of voice and also the rate of speech.

Here are two examples which should help you better understand what I mean:

Example 1: Did you ever meet a friend randomly on the street when you had a very good day and were full of energy but your friend not (or vice versa). You may be full of enthusiasm and up to do something spontaneous but the way (quiet and slow) your friend was talking actually put your energy down. Basically, at that given moment, there was not a match of both of your mood which was easily transmitted by the voice and way of talking.

Example 2: Did you ever get a phone call from a very bad salesperson who had such a rush to literally bombard you with tons of words within a minute without a period and breathe positioning his pitch and services. This is exactly the extreme case if you do not do bonding.

Bonding helps you to build a rapport with the opposite person you dealing with. You basically adapt your way of talking and also your body language to match with the counterpart. It enables smooth connection and communication because it allows people to be at ease and take certain tension and nervousness out.

You may have an excellent qualification. But if you miss to emotionally connect with the hiring manager and anyone else involved your chances are low to get hired. Candidates who make the strongest emotional connection will make the race.

The way how you emotionally connect to someone is actually simple. Be genuinely interested in the other person. Everyone likes to talk about themselves. If you use this and let the other person talk about themselves and you actively listen, you will make the person like you.  If you want deeper knowledge about this topic I strongly recommend you to read following business book which is a classic:

How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie

A good way to let people talk about themselves is to actively listen and pick up what they say and ideally show emotions. This is a good indicator of their interest and passion. If for example, the hiring manager talks somehow about his dog or cat, jump on this opportunity. Ask a couple of follow up questions and you will see how his mood, tone of voice and body language will change. If you see that you are on a good path to make a good emotional connection.

If you go to the office of the hiring manager observe the room and decoration. Are there any personal items? Any pictures of family members or pets? Any trophy, reward or excellent award? Build a conversation around it when it is a good time. Let the person talk about his achievements and his passion or interest.

Furthermore, you can check upfront through LinkedIn the profile of the interviewer. I see many people checking my LinkedIn page before they are coming to the interview. Despite doing so, the majority of the candidates are not using the information they find on my public LinkedIn page. Sometimes I confront them with it. I ask them if they checked my profile and why they are not using the information they have found. Please do not get me wrong, I am not upset if they do not praise my career or background. I just do not understand why you are doing the effort (checking the profile) and not using the information. A classic example is when I get German candidates who did some research on my page. Usually, I start the interview conversation in English and sometimes halfway through I switch to German. The candidates are very surprised and some of them not even realize what just happened. I am actually myself German and studied in Bonn (the ex-capital of Germany). Those are some piece of information you can find on my LinkedIn profile and start to build a personal and emotional connection.

Hope you find this advice’s useful and can leverage them in your next job interview.



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